They Told Us so
Part 1
“Don’t judge a book by its cover”
George Eliot – 1860
I’ve always been a sucker for a good quote. I suppose that’s because I imagine that someone who is drawn to writing themselves would naturally take inspiration from reading as well. It is the written word that encourages you to think for yourself in interpreting the writer’s message of intent. You should do this as an individual. It is solely your imagination that is responsible for the information that ultimately formulates your opinion. Not your literature professor’s, not your snooty brother-in-law’s, and most certainly not my opinion. It is entirely up to you.
If the initial interpretation leads you to even the briefest of consideration, then it suggests that what you’ve read has proven to have the intended effect that the writer was hoping for. Varying interpretations have led to many engaging discussions as a result of mere words. Social interaction should be a good thing on paper but, sadly, it can also go sideways too. This is the time when we discover just how many incredibly dumb people are living amongst us.
That’s why I’ve always loved the quotes. The greatest writers are the ones that are able to say so much with so little. Of course they are the ones that transcend the ages and reside in the vaunted annals of literary history. That’s because they are able to provide such a compelling insight into something with so very few words. I imagine people are more inclined to remember a writer’s famous quote than they are to actually read one of their books. A good quote is like a comic book for those who need pictures to help them maintain interest. It’s also great fodder for pseudo intellectuals the world over who wink at the common man with great confidence and state smugly, “Well you know what Oscar Wilde had to say about that.”
Deep inside he’s hoping desperately that you don’t actually know who Oscar Wilde was because he’s never even read any Oscar Wilde himself. He would probably melt if one were to point out that the words are actually attributed to Mark Twain and not Oscar Wilde. If you want to be really cruel perhaps you can also inform him that pipe smoking is more synonymous with illicit drug use than wisdom.
When done perfectly, the resulting implications of a good quote will resonate with us for centuries. So much information in such a miniscule package! (I know there are some readers who were hoping I could provide that as well. Sorry, but I also seem to be inexplicably drawn to transgression..Hey, we can’t all be Harold Robbins, right?)
The thing about these pearls of wisdom is that they’re not always supposed to be taken literally. This, despite the fact that they are presented to us in literal form. Perhaps I think too much but I do believe that there’s a valid case to be made for the obvious in most of these broad statements.
When Eliot said that we can’t judge a book by its cover we assume that he was merely expanding on John 7:24 which is a verse from the Christian bible. Which was “Do not judge by appearance but judge with righteous judgement”. The Eliot take on this was way less heavy handed and probably why it tends to get thrown out there more than the bible quote that preceded it.(Another aside: People tend to listen more attentively if they don’t realize that you’re actually preaching scripture to them. Particularly if you’re at a party and there’s hot chicks and alcohol involved. Just sayin’..)
The book analogy is a great example of rushing to judgement though. The more learned person will at least read the summary on the back to get a gist of what the book is about. Now in modern times there may also be praise in quotations from other critics and writers that you may be familiar with. There will be bombastic claims such as:
“.. a triumph in the modern world of literature..”
“..an emotional rollercoaster..I laughed, I cried, I soiled myself..”
“..I could not put this book down..”
Do not be surprised to see the names Stephen King or Quentin Tarantino attributed to any of these quotes. Apparently these guys aren’t satisfied well enough with their own body of work and are still searching for that elusive eternal quote of their very own.
Eliot’s book metaphor is definitely more relatable to the average person I would imagine. It’s especially true today when you’re exposed to massive multi-million dollar marketing campaigns that corporations fund in order to get us to spend our money on their specific product. It’s even gotten so ludicrous that the consumers themselves become unpaid marketeers with their own gripping reviews of television shows and Hollywood films on sites such as Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB, Facebook and Reddit.(Similarly to responding to emails, I am more inclined to consider an online review if it is done with a modicum of human intelligence. Even the bots are chiming in with their opinions these days and last time I heard they didn’t even possess a soul..).
So, yes, Eliot is definitely right to suggest that beneath a glittering marketing campaign there may very well lie nothing of any real substance at all. Just the fact that you bought into the elaborate hoax and wasted valuable time and money. Mission accomplished for the greedy, soulless conglomerates.
Clearly I do not want to dispute anything from one of the holy handbooks. There is definitely a little part of me that lives in fear of an angry God’s potential wrath for questioning his advice. However, I cannot help but trust my intuition when it comes to getting into a stranger’s car on a cold, rainy night. Sorry but, if I don’t know this person at all, I can’t help but heed the advice of my parents long ago. You just don’t get into a stranger’s car. No matter how drunk you may be. He may seem to be the nicest guy in the world but still..
Have you ever seen those interviews with the neighbours of a serial killer on television?
“He always seemed like such a pleasant man..”
There’s always the possibility that the guy is a genuine nice person but our intuition tells us that we’re probably better off by not taking any chances. Afterall, it’s easier to mend a guilty conscience than a headless torso. I think people of most religions would agree to that.
You see that guy frothing at the mouth like a wild dog and running towards you with an axe? I don’t wanna be judgemental but I have a sneaking suspicion that he means you harm. There certainly isn’t any time for a lengthy discourse in that situation. You get the hell out of there. PRONTO!
That other fellow with the reptilian-like complexion, dead eyes and the rotted teeth that’s walking towards you and your granddaughter? I know he may be smiling but that doesn’t mean he’s necessarily a good soul. He’s likely so high that he isn’t even aware that he resembles some kind of alien life form that smells eerily similar to parmesan cheese. More than likely he’s going to ask you for a smoke and then proceed to lie about needing money so he can buy something to eat. Perhaps he’ll even further embellish the story by lamenting the difficulty he’s having finding a job.
This guy isn’t looking for a job. He’s looking for a fix. He’s just trying to raise some cash for more drugs. Furthermore, you know that no employer in the world is stupid enough to hire this guy to represent their business. Even in a restaurant, a waft of parmesan cheese can raise a few eyebrows.
“Did somebody vomit over at that next booth? No.. No, it’s just parmesan cheese on their caesar salad.”
Whether you choose to actually pretend to buy this guy’s hard luck story and give him some cash is entirely up to you. Perhaps later that night you’ll lie awake wondering if you were actually encouraging his addiction by giving him sympathy money. Or maybe you don’t feel sorry for him at all anymore. Maybe now you feel angry because it just dawned on you how easy it is to be conned by a junkie. No doubt you’re left wondering if perhaps you’re not as smart as you imagined you were.
Or else you can just cross the street with your granddaughter and avoid any moral ramifications altogether. As well you won’t have to explain to your 4 year old granddaughter why some people don’t take baths.(Although maybe there’s an allegory to be had somewhere in there. Instead of the “Ugly Duckling” you can tell her about “The Smelly Crackhead”).
Are you turning a blind eye to this poor man’s sad travails? No, you were just making a decision based on the evidence presented before your eyes. You saw it very clearly. That’s the very reason that you crossed the road in the first place. You saw the potential for an unpleasant encounter and opted to avoid it. You were happy when you started out and you were given the option of being a little bit less happy. Wisely, you declined the option!
“Hey, do you wanna go see Fast and Furious 4?”
“No thanks. I can imagine it’s similar to the first three and I’m not interested in movies about fast cars.”
“Do you wanna maybe have an awkward interaction with a crackhead instead?”
“No. I’m good.”
That’s exactly what it comes down to. In a figurative sense, he’s created his own unique brand to display to the public. It appears that the foul aroma and dishevelled appearance are going to be a strong selling point in this, his very own personal marketing campaign. Whether or not you choose to buy it is entirely up to you.
We all make decisions that are influenced by the way things are initially presented to us. I’m not going to lie. When I was a younger man I was drawn to a certain type of woman. If it was merely for the sake of having sex then it would be generally based around two very specific points:
1) Am I attracted to this woman enough that she stirs both my intellect and loins simultaneously?
2) Will this woman agree to have sex with me?
I’m not going to lie to you, reader. I was a pretty shallow guy when I was younger. I was also very sure about the type of woman who I didn’t want to have sex with. If they didn’t stimulate me with their looks then the chances of us hooking up were close to zero. I say “close to zero” because I did drink and smoke a lot of weed back then too so there has been some questionable decision making on my part.
As I began to mature I began to realize that the actual depth of a human being’s intellect is probably a better indicator of their sexual prowess. It became that way for me anyways. I kick myself now when I think of all the time I wasted on hot chicks that were inevitably airheads. Some of the most attractive women are absolutely horrible lovers because of the good fortune of having been blessed with outward beauty. They don’t participate, merely lying about, naked and bored as if their fortunate genetic makeup is sufficient enough. It isn’t and they’ll probably just get fat anyhow.
Nowadays I’ve matured even more. So much, in fact, that I no longer even have sex. I can still appreciate a nice looking woman when I see one. In return, when the nice looking woman sees me she probably thinks I’m an old, fat, barfly. If that‘s her takeaway after the first impression then, honestly, I have to admit that’s a pretty fair description. Sure I’d prefer to be “perceived” as that astute intellectual who is also both handsome and charming. Who wouldn’t?
We don’t actually know each other. I am an older, overweight man who seems surprisingly cozy sitting at a bar with a drink in hand. That’s precisely what I wanted to be doing at that moment in time. That’s a fair assessment on her part.
If we watch any movie where the title is followed by a number greater than 2, then that probably says more about us than the movie itself. We knew exactly what we could expect from that experience and that’s precisely the experience we were hoping for at that moment. Not much thought required there..Sometimes the cover does indeed tell the story!
Part 2
“I think, therefore I am”
Rene Descartes- 1632
I know. The above caption seems a little heavy. Well my friends, the topic that I’m about to broach is definitely going to be disagreeable to some. Particularly if my opinions have found appeal with any type of high-tech zillionaires, politicians and/or overpaid celebrities and athletes. If you’ve found yourself enjoying them so far then I’m afraid I’m about to harsh your buzz.
As I began this chapter with a famous quote, I also intend to end it with yet another one. I’m hoping that the logic behind my reasoning will make sense to you at the conclusion. Not unlike Dr. Frankenstein, I am resolute with the perceived method to my madness. Bearing that in mind, I’m hopeful of a much different fate than he. Also, let it be duly noted, that Descartes and Eliot are probably much better writers than I could ever claim to be. I say probably because I’ve only read the quotes. It’s like that K-tel album with the hits only.
This is an old school observation made by a pretty smart guy back in the day. When I say “ back in the day”, I mean waaaaay back in the day. Try like 1632. This is even before your grandparents were born. The guy was named Rene Descartes and he is best known for saying “I think, therefore I am.”
Now that’s a pretty good quote. If famous quotes were classic rock songs then this one would be in most old hippy’s top 3 lists. It’s like the “Hotel California” of famous quotes. Chances are that if you live in the western world you’ve probably heard that song more times than you’ve even heard your country’s national anthem. That’s a helluva lot of times when you consider in some parts we actually heard our national anthem every single morning while in school. Let’s not forget the sporting events where we get to listen to various “re-imaginings” performed by qualified artists and hack celebrities alike. Their interpretations are often received with varying degrees of appreciation..
Even if you’ve heard “Hotel California” 100,000 times you’re still going to have to acknowledge that there’s something about it that resonates with you. For me it’s the haunting guitar solo and the climactic duet at the end.
There is no doubt that Descartes’ quote is bound to be dropped smugly by that same pompous jackass who completely misuses the word “epiphany”. For some reason that irritating goof from “Good Will Hunting” springs to mind. Whether it’s being spouted in school by a lonely student desperate for brownie points or at some random Christmas party in a vain effort to impress chicks, the basic premise is still going to leave you thinking. That is the entire point. It’s almost heartwarming to know that even as far back as 1632 folks were outwardly questioning their very existence.
Have you and your lover ever cuddled after a tender lovemaking session? Perhaps you’ll share some wine and smoke some of that weed that you’ve confiscated from your teenage daughter. Yes, you’re feeling good, you’re feeling loved. You feel relevant for a moment in time. God knows there are so many moments in a single day alone when you can feel lost and helpless. Relevant? Not in the least. Now is the time for a deep and meaningful discourse about your lives, your existence and where we came from. It all culminates with that same great riddle: What happens to us when we die?
While It is highly unlikely that you are going to find any definitive answers in between tokes and pokes, it is comforting to know that you’re not the only people that have had such deep thoughts. It would require an awkward explanation though, if God were to suddenly appear before you while you’re driving your lover from behind. Maybe follow such heavy dialogue with a good night’s sleep instead just to be on the safe side.
Descartes was assuring the reader that such a deep contemplation was the very proof, in itself, that they actually existed. Even if the world around us was illusionary and we were just pickled brains in a jar in some random lab, we were still capable of individual thought. That was all the evidence he needed to make his point. That is quite a smash hit on the legacy front. I don’t expect any of The Eagles’ names will be remembered in 400 years. (Though you can be certain that Don Henley has been googled tenfold over Rene Descartes by people today. Hell, even Timothy B. Schmit probably has and he came in real late!)
Yessir, those are some strong words. “I think, therefore I am”. Now I myself have been called a pompous jack ass or something similar on numerous occasions. Usually it’s to my face from an angry ex and I’m also assuming behind my back countless times. As well, I have worn turtleneck sweaters in the past. It’s not even out of the realm of possibility that it may have been at a specific Christmas gathering long ago.
With that I would like to introduce a follow-up quote to Descartes’ classic:
“When I don’t think, I will cease to exist” Chris Gavin 2025.
I think that’s pretty self explanatory but I will elaborate for the lay-person.(Myself being among them).
Ask yourself this honestly. How much time in a 24 hour day do you spend staring into a screen? Either a television, a laptop computer/ tablet or a cell phone? What about radio? It’s probably there somewhere in the background at work or when you go shopping, when you’re driving in your car. You’re inundated by the media whether you realize it or not. I don’t think that’s a good thing. You’ve heard of algorithms, right? I don’t think that’s a good thing either. In fact I think that’s downright evil. Do you think it’s a coincidence when you order a product from Amazon and for the next year you are constantly bombarded on the internet with suggestions regarding that very same product?
“Hey internet, it’s none of your fucking business what I ordered from Amazon!”.
Friends, that’s just the very tip of the A.I. iceberg that is responsible for you not thinking for yourself anymore. (That’s artificial intelligence for those that may have just awakened from a very long coma in the last couple minutes. If you’ve never been comatose and you still don’t know what A.I. stands for then you probably can’t read this anyways..)
Who needs to read up on a subject when you can just google it on your phone? The information that you’ve received is 100% accurate, right? There couldn’t possibly be any misinformation on the internet, could there? Come on! That’s where we get our pornography from. Surely it wouldn’t lie to us.
Why engage in actual conversation when you can just communicate anonymously from your phone via text? Christ, you don’t even need to be able to spell correctly anymore because the A.I. will auto correct your basic illiteracy. And if it wasn’t properly corrected would you even be able to tell? Can you actually spell words correctly without the use of A.I.?
You’re getting fatter because you’re getting lazier. Do you know why that is? It’s because you’re not thinking for yourself anymore. You’re allowing yourself to be dumbed down by all the eye candy presented to you on your television screen. All the sights and sounds! It’s almost like the fair has come to town. Only now it comes to town every single day. Except the thrill of the rollercoaster has been replaced by the likes of professional sports. The familiar comfort that the Ferris wheel once provided has since been supplanted by game shows that offer contestants big cash prizes for their outright betrayal. Apparently liars and cheaters are hot commodities in Hollywood!
It’s really no wonder why there are so many disturbed individuals in the world today. How many children have been left unattended in front of a television screen by their.parents? Whether the parents are neglectful assholes or merely overwhelmed by the numerous tasks that having a family entails. It’s certainly not always easy to work a full time job only to be consumed by the rigours of providing the necessities of life to your young children when you come home. Plopping them down in front of the tube while you cook and do dishes is a well deserved respite. Everybody does it!
But what are they taking in? Are they always watching Sesame Street? Children have rich, fertile minds and parents everywhere are genuinely shocked to discover that their three year old can use a television remote. Over the sound of running dish water would you be able to decipher the merry songs of The Wiggles from the obnoxious grunts and groans of professional wrestling? Or a scathing rebuke from a scorned drag queen on a Rue Paul revue? How about the horrible sounds from the exclusive footage of yet another mass shooting? And these are just the sounds! God knows what they are seeing!
Yessir, we like our TV, don’t we? And it’s all brought to you by the same shrewd entrepreneurs that basically have you working so hard you’re unable to focus on these things. You gotta make enough money so you can provide for your family. That’s a roof over your head, food, clothes..access to unlimited television entertainment. All can be attained for a certain fee. You just have to decide as an adult what is the best investment of your time and how much of your limited time you are willing to exchange for money.
I get it. Life can be tiresome sometimes. Even if you don’t have any children. It’s easy to just have a drink or smoke some weed in an effort to put the mundane behind you and retreat into a whimsical world of fantasy. We all need escapism on occasion. It is very dangerous though if that occasion becomes every single day of your life.
Why does the professional athlete get paid so much more money than your average hard working person? Do you think people consider this while their eyes are glued to the big screen? And if they do ponder this, then it begs the question, why the hell would they still support this by continuing to watch?
There is a possibility that a Mom and Dad may take time out of their busy television viewing regiment to actually play on a recreation league softball team themselves. Good for them! It shows great initiative. The fact that they make time for this after a hard day at work is admirable. Not to mention the maneuvering that it may require if they have a household and children .That makes it even more commendable still. Do you know why they do this? They do it because they love the camaraderie and the game itself. That’s it, that’s all.
Did you know that the minimum wage in Major league baseball is $760,000 per season? That’s minimum wage, folks! Shohei Ohtani is an incredible talent and he is currently the highest paid player in the majors. He makes $70,000,000 per season over ten years. That’s seventy million dollars a year for playing a game that many of us play for free.
Undoubtedly, Ohtani is an incredible generational athlete and when you consider that the average baseball stipend is about $5,160,000, it almost seems relative. He certainly works hard for that money. Now does he work that much harder than a firefighter or an honest cop? I think it’s fair to say that he’s not exactly risking his life every time he puts on the uniform.
I imagine an ironworker has a very hard job. On average they make between $65,000 and $100,000 per year. The top paid iron worker would have to toil for 700 years to make what Ohtani makes in a single 162 game season! Shohei is a two-way phenomenon without question but he’s not curing cancer, he’s not bringing about world peace. That says a great deal about the world we live in. Simply put, that is a gross injustice to humanity.
If professional baseball didn’t exist the world would not suffer in the slightest. We’d still have the game and we could still get excited about kids’ little league games or Mom and Dad’s rec games.There would even be more money available to actually improve the world if we didn’t spend it so foolishly on some contrived market created from one of our very own recreational hobbies.(And don’t even get me started on the nerdy baseball card enthusiasts!) I don’t think I have to tell you what would happen if we didn’t have first responders, teachers, and doctors. That’s obvious.
How much “game” are you even able to take in between all of the casino online betting commercials? More often than not, they’re pitched to you by a familiar celebrity who almost definitely is not in need of more money. (But since you’re willing to give it to them..) You probably don’t even realize that the game itself is the actual commercial. Yes, that’s right. Where do you think the money comes from in order to pay all these athletes? Well it comes from you, sucker! You’re the one who just paid for it willingly through your seemingly innocuous sports bets and the endless line of streaming and cable fees that you fork over in order to tune out and watch commercials..
Tuning out. That’s exactly what big business wants you to do. Don’t be mistaken here either, folks. The government is the BIGGEST BUSINESS OF ALL! That’s especially true in a capitalist society where an entire population’s fate hinges on the decisions that are ultimately made by BIG BUSINESS.
You cannot get elected these days without recognition and you cannot get recognition without exposure. We all know that exposure comes from mass media. Now ask yourself a question. Who controls mass media? The answer once again is BIG BUSINESS. I think it’s realistic to say that BIG BUSINESS is merely a euphemism for “the possessors of the money”. One can assume that whoever has control of the most money is probably considered the biggest business of them all.
Why do you think prohibition didn’t work in the 1920’s? For the very same reason that they legalized marijuana. Why spend money having to jail somebody for getting high when you can actually make money by helping them get high? Hey, a government may be short on scruples but they’re not stupid. If they can turn a profit from other people’s miserable addictions then they’re going to do it. Why do you think cigarettes are still so readily available at every corner store? The same folks that ensure grim warnings and unsightly photographs are on your pack of smokes are also the same people that make money hand over fist as a result of your unfortunate health decision.
Chances are likely that the populace will just get baked and watch television anyhow and that’s where BIG BUSINESS can swindle them for even more money! The more money that these media conglomerates can squeeze out of you with redundant purchases just means the more money the government can squeeze out of them with taxes. (And if the tax seems to be too much perhaps we figure something that’s beneficial to both parties. Perhaps the government can provide the media providers with lower taxes and a little less television regulation in exchange for some kind words about your fearless leader..and fire Jimmy Kimmel..)
It’s also better for them that they keep your attention glued to the TV set so you don’t notice the mischief that they’re getting into all around you. It’s basically a much more stylized modern version of the Roman colosseum. The Christians fending off lions has now been replaced by the Ukrainian trying to hold back the Russian or the Palestinian trying to withstand the Israeli onslaught. Ultimately, just the same tired ol’ Holy wars but now brought to you in 5k resolution!
Perhaps the single greatest quote, the virtual Mother of all quotes, is so appropriate in these times. This would have to go down as “The Stairway to Heaven” of classic quotes. It too comes from the Christian bible so you know this is literally a classic.
“The love of money is the root to all kinds of evil” – 1 Timothy 6:10
I’m sure other religious holy books have touched upon this subject. I just use the Christian bible because I’m more familiar with it. A couple of years after I was born, it was brought to my attention that I was a Roman Catholic. It was during my Catholic schooling that I discovered for myself that I was neither Roman nor Catholic. I had already met too many people of different faiths that I liked and didn’t feel that they were any different than me. They were just like me. They were born and somebody told them, “Hey, this is what you believe from now on.”
That’s simply not enough for me. However, that still shouldn’t detract from some deep messages that are in the Christian bible or any other holy book. Despite the looming presence of the cancel-culture there are a great many valuable lessons that we can learn from the past. The fact that thousands of years ago somebody was warning us about greed should resonate within the soul of the average person.
Now let’s put these three messages together and see if it makes any sense to us. We’ll do it numerically:
- “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”
- “ I think, therefore I am”
- “The love of money is the root to kinds of evil”
My final conclusion is as follows: You must avoid distractions and think clearly for yourself and make yourself aware of what is going on in the world around you. If you are unable to do this then I think you’ll probably be deserving of a sorrowful fate and,not unlike the aforementioned crackhead, I will be crossing to the other side of the road upon your approach.