The Paper Shrink
By Christopher J. Gavin
Hello. My name is Chris and I enjoy writing. Somewhere along my life’s path it occurred to me that this is what I ought to be doing. It is quite literally my personal labour of love and I am compelled to do it. It is definitely not always an easy or convenient thing to do but I feel rewarded when I am able to successfully turn my thoughts into actual words that can be shared with other living souls. Whether or not the other living souls appreciate my thoughts or not is a moot point. Regardless, even if they’re just taking in the title only and decide that it’s not going to be for them, I have succeeded with my intention. There can be no denial of my existence.
The fact that another soul has actually taken note and formed an opinion of my creation, be it good or bad, is all I need to feel somewhat relevant. However momentarily it may have been, I have made them think and I am proud of that. I am driven by an overwhelming need to substantiate my life beyond the act of merely subsisting. I wanna live, goddamnit!
I’m not particularly comfortable with the idea of trying to turn my free expression into a monetizing scheme, hence this free presentation. While I do require some money to exist, I just can’t morally justify other souls having to sacrifice their own as a result of my conception. I get paid for my labour at a job like most folks because, unfortunately, existing does cost money. Exactly how much money will be required is greatly dependent on the comfort level that one feels is appropriate for their individual existing needs.
Seeing as how I reside in North America, a society based on capitalist ideology, the required fee for a marginal level of comfort is much greater than it should be. This is due to the fact that there are many among us that strongly feel that they require a much higher degree of comfort than most of the others. Therefore it becomes us, the others, who are duped into believing that we should give them a little bit more of our money to make sure that happens. It’s rather like a “Make a wish foundation” for entitled assholes. They might very well be entitled assholes but then what does that make us? I’m hoping that I can help you find the answer to this. I assure you that my intentions are good but the truth really does hurt bad.
What you are about to read is an ongoing presentation of my thoughts being introduced to you in a serial format. It is both a blog and an actual novel in progress that coincide without any specific timeline. It is both fact and fiction at the same time.
“The Paper Shrink” is the blog aspect of this literary experiment. Here, I can rant and rave freely about whatever topics motivate me enough to write. Of course, I’m hopeful that the writing will then temporarily alleviate any potential insecurities that may be festering in my subconscious. Trust me, being hurt so badly by the truth can really do a number on a person’s self esteem. At any given moment one may have the overwhelming need for relevance. You just never know.
The words that I choose are genuine. This is my view of the world around me. These were my actual feelings at the time of writing and therefore are not fictional. I truly felt that way at a particular moment in time. Perhaps, going forward,my opinions could change. There’s no finality to anything unless you cease to exist. And ,as I recently mentioned, I wanna live!
I do ask that the reader imagine these blogs as “a fly on the wall” listening in on the mad ramblings of a man who is unashamedly sharing his innermost thoughts in a psychiatrist’s office. This aspect is still fictional though. This is because you are “imagining” that you’re a fly and I’m not sure if flies can actually read. I’ve also wondered if they would even be remotely interested in the neuroses of another species.
“Lord of the Barflies” is the other part of this presentation. It is very much a continuation of these psychiatric sessions but it has been written in the more traditional sense, kind of what you’d expect from a story. The premise here follows that same man but it takes place outside of the office. It too is very much based on my reality but I have taken artistic licence for the sake of continuity. I have conveniently changed names and exaggerated some truths for the purposes of both entertaining you and avoiding unnecessary civil suits. Admittedly, it’s also a surreptitious attempt to make my life appear somewhat more interesting to you than it sometimes feels to me while actually living it. The end result of these two worlds combined is the basis of this novel in progress. You can read it as I literally live it and write it. I remind you that it is fiction but it is deeply rooted in reality.
I will have an email address that you can reach me at if you are so compelled but I will not have a comments section in this blog. I’m just looking for a connection to a world that makes very little sense to me. I recall there was a time when that wasn’t the case. Perhaps it’s age but that certainly is not the case presently.
I want to share some of my opinions and feelings with others in order to reach like-minded souls.That’s it, that’s all. My writing is not motivated by the concept of profiting financially from you. The mere fact that you’ve allowed me into your life is a reward unto itself. (Besides, I don’t have to feel obligated to give you your money back if you don’t like what you have read). If you do want to purchase these words when they’re available in the form of an actual book then I extend a heartfelt thanks.
As with any form of expression there will be those among you who will not enjoy what they have read. That’s fine. Not reading is an option that is always at your disposal. Please feel free to express your disappointment with an email if you must. I may even send a response although I’m certainly not going to apologize for the fact that we think differently.
You can always post your displeasure with my writing on any number of social media outlets. It would probably segue perfectly in between Ben and Judy’s pointless nature photographs and that video of the drunk chick whose tit falls out unnoticed. It appears Ben and Judy don’t realize that most of their online “friends” live in the very same part of the world as them and have long since moved on from the initial awe that autumn leaves turning colour once provided. And the drunk chick video? Well that’s just a modern take on the bathroom stall phone number enigma, isn’t it? Did an angry ex or a jealous friend post that? Or did she do it herself because she’s a closeted exhibitionist who simply enjoys showing off her breasts? Not exactly one of the great wonders of the world.
This is precisely why there will be no comments page on this website. Although I do enjoy breasts, this is not Facebook, Reddit, or TikTok. This is not meant to be one of those community websites. It’s very easy to post opinions aggressively while avoiding accountability behind the cloak of anonymity that an avatar provides. We are reminded everyday that there are those among us who are completely unhinged. For some, it appears that their sole purpose in life is to apparently infuriate others with derogatory comments and negative feedback. If they are unable to achieve this, then humiliation becomes the next option. God knows there have been instances where online disagreements have led these nutbars to physical violence and even death. Besides, you can create your own platform if you have an overwhelming need to be heard. This is my creation and nobody else’s.
A little tip for those inclined to reach me via email: If your online persona contains the numbered sequence 69 or 420 then I’m not going to get back to you. As well, vitriol and poor grammar are not likely to solicit any kind of response. Again, my website, my rules!
I’m hopeful that my writing represents some kind of reassurance to folks that they are not alone in this tumultuous world. If it humors people and they enjoy reading it, then great! While I do hope that we are able to connect, that doesn’t mean you can move in and live on my couch because you’re going through a rough patch. Being likeminded also doesn’t suggest that I’m willing to donate one of my organs to your cousins’ kid.
When you present something to others then you are obviously open to the reception that it may receive, be it harsh criticism, praise, or marginal encouragement. The reaction is what you set out to achieve. I’m not trying to be some crazed anarchist who just wants to be a warlord for chaos. I do hope to leave you feeling somewhat entertained . If you still come away deciding that I’m an asshole then that’s fine too. I’m extending you an invitation to come inside my cluttered mind. The choice is yours to make.
Thanks,
Christopher J. Gavin